Posted a little glimpse of this tiny space on my insta story yesterday and I decided to delete it within seconds of posting. I'm just not ready to let people have access to to my inner thoughts and feelings...Especially I don't know if people reading this platform behind the screen genuinely cares about my sudden withdrawals or just blatantly enjoys gloating at my gloom.

I was rudely woken up by a bad dream this afternoon. Since months ago, I had this tendency of sleeping whenever time permits me to, or usually I will be staying at home when there are nothing on the plate to occupy my time with..Usually I will sleep and it doesn't take me more than 10 minutes to fall into a deep sleep. More than usual, I just fell asleep upon lying down on bed. Today, I had a bad dream of you inviting people to your BBQ party and I was not invited. It is pretty much expected given the amount of hate you are containing in you about me right now. Or maybe I shouldn't classify this as hate but rather, grudge.
I woke up to repetitively thinking about the words you told me two weeks ago.
All I catch was you emphasizing the fact that I chose to leave you in the first place and that there is no way we will ever be getting back together. I'm reluctant to acknowledge this justification to completely give up on this relationship but I figure out that if one is unwilling, there is no point holding on the relationship anymore.

Today abrupt and eccentric dream sorta remind me of the pensive sadness once again.
As much as I want to put all behind, which my first step has been set foot, such a constant reminder isn't all that pleasing to me, Especially when the only proposal I gave myself is to break off from any sort of association I can possibly have with you so it will be easier for me to wholeheartedly surrender this 3 years old relationship.

Its kinda tough to translate how I actually feel into words right now.

There are two things I figure out I can do:
-To put down the ego, admit that it was rash choice, and hoping that there will be extra chance given to salvage the broken string.
(Which I have done and it did not work out)
-To let this relationship dies down and bury behind with time.

I'm left with not much choices and the second path is the one I can embark on.
Surely (hopefully) one day, I'll be happier.