Howdy friends. 19 more days to finals, not feeling well inside, a little uneasy all over because I know time is running out for shit. This is already the start of November, my birthday month. My 21st birthday will be approaching in 14 days time. I have been under some peer pressure in holding a birthday party, even my mom is telling to do so and she said she is willing to sponsor any amount as long as it won't cost up to 10k, the heck what my mom thinking, maybe she thinks my dad owns the bank. I'll gladly accept her sponsor to go on a solo overseas trip alone. I always wanted to go overseas alone but I can never pass through the barriers of my parents. Maybe I shall just book my tickets and just disappear with my passport...One day. A bag packing trip will suffice my desire for a solo trip.

But whatever, it is too late to even think of any fancy parties. I only have 19 days till my first paper and.....23 days till exams end. HAHAHA

But I think I still wanna lead a quiet 21st birthday, just a dinner outing with the people who will support me all the way even though I can be a failure at times (Or many times) 

I get really sick of attending parties and mini celebrations for friends when I don't get any appreciation in return. Its sad when people claim that my birthday falls during the exam period hence "After exams k JS?" Don't bullshit with me like as if I don't have to study for my exams k.

I'm always feeling ashamed if I don't attend mini birthday celebrations for my friends but I have grew to be bolder to skip such birthday celebrations or parties without having a sense of guilt. I believe I have enough people around me to make me feel blessed and I shouldn't be afraid of expressing how I feel. Time to show what I have been feeling all along.

Not everyone you lose is a loss. 

yup yupz.