Happy easter day.
This is probably going to be my last blog post till 7th May. Sigh,finals is in 5 days time,this friday,I am worried and anxious because I just can't do physics for nuts. I think all my friends can vouch for that.

Oh and I screwed up my body clock again. I had a long 12 hours sleep today,was so lethargic that I forgotten to set my alarm yesterday..dang...Not a valid excuse but because I am having my time of the month,I am even more tired physically.

I really don't understand why my period have to fall during the examination period. O levels was like this, A levels was like this too....LAST SEMESTER FINALS TOO. This is too bloody (both literally and non-literally) coincidental because mine is irregular and this is definitely a curse lol...
Had a bad emotional roller coaster ride for the past 2 weeks and little things around me can easily trigger the land mine in me. Didn't exactly studied in school last week but I TRIED. I remember this one particular day while studying in Minerva,I was trying hard to focus on my studies and this guy in a formal outfit was playing dota. Clicking his mouse so loudly and frequently. It seriously made me want to whack him in the face with his laptop and stuff the mouse into his mouth. I know I can't but I have already done that in my mind.




I went back hall early that day ,I know I will be driven crazy if I continue to stay in school because little noises in the room are like pricks to my ears. 

Phew but now that my period finally come, I can finally enjoy well after the finals since by then it will be over already.




So yeap, had a birthday celebration for mom on Friday,we chose to eat at sembawang white bee hoon because she prefers somewhere nearer and I know sembawang and Marsiling aren't very near but at least it only cost us $9 to cab there. Waited for a good 40mins before we got seated.








And recently I am just into running,during the evening and even at odd timing like 2am. Really like to run when I feel terrible emotionally, it gives me time alone to sort out my thoughts and make me feel better. And whenever I see cute puppies at my neighborhood, it will lift my mood to a greater level but not at 2am though.










One of the days when I was really in my lowest spirit,some sort of emotional turmoil. Totally weeped my eyes out after running. I thought I will feel better after a good midnight run but no....My whole family was sound asleep that time and I just sat in the kitchen and cried. Its good too,I wouldn't want anyone to see me crying because I really dislike it when people see that side of me. Knowing that my nanny's health is in a really bad state now and its the finals now, plus other things distracting my mind,I couldn't take it at all. And because I am closest to my nanny, my brothers will keep asking me how I felt about the whole situation,grandfather and aunt too. Just stop. Because if you have common sense, logic tells you that nobody feel good about death. I can really concentrate on what's on the table in the day but when dusk falls, all the negativity creeps in. Its only these few days I am more emotional. Didn't want to talk to anyone about what's bothering my mind,I'm just used to keeping things to myself under such circumstances. Was thinking of how screwed up the world is or maybe I am the only screwed up one. I'm not an emotionally strong person and I admit that but I really choose to bottle things up to myself because I believe some problems can only be solved by yourself. While some problems can be solved, some like death can't be. I know if I can overcome this tough period alone, I'm better than who I think I am. Sadness is just a feeling and it will definitely go away. I tend to always compare myself with the less fortunate people,only this way I will feel happy and contented that I still have a roof over my head, a complete family, proper limbs and organs...I know it might not be realistic to think in that way because Singapore is very competitive and by just being contented with the basics,its not good enough but that was the least I can comfort myself with. I wouldn't say I was really miserable that time,because compared to the people in the third world,what's called misery in my household?  Life has many different chapters for us. One bad chapter doesn't mean it's the end of the book.

I am pretty sure I feel so much better now. That was Thursday yo,and today is Sunday already.

Just two goofy photos of me below. Actually the focus is on my hair. Friends who touched my hair before thought that it felt like grass but they haven't actually see how grassy it looks like when its tangled after my bath.